I expected a switch, like a literal ‘on/off’ state where suddenly I am this other person, this more perfect man who is already everything that I want to be at the end of this month. It was like that last year too, and it’s just as untrue today. No miracles, no transformation. Just me, still.

Been very busy these last few days moving into a new home, so haven’t had much time to devote to the project. This changes tomorrow, I start reading the Satanic Bible, I introduce and engage with the online Satanic community, and try to track down some local Satanists. Not, as it turns out, an easy task.

In the mean time I indulge. I drink, I make sloppy advances on cute girls. I live… like, really live. So far, things are pretty simple.

I paid my friends who helped me move with food- burgers at one of the better hamburger establishments in my new neighborhood. At the moment it seemed somewhat out of my new Satanist persona’s character. Such things are not a given under Satanism, my default stance cannot be charitable. Instead goodness is reserved for those who deserve it, metered out at moments where it benefits myself.

Which means it was okay to treat my friends to dinner. Hard work should see its rewards reaped. It should be acknowledged, the best of us should triumph.

This is the language of a meritocracy, and I am in very new territory.

Happy New Year.