I was planning on writing that previous post last night, but I ended up crashing pretty hard once I got home.  At the end of the day, as I made my way from work to the library downtown, I really started to feel the effects of the fast.  There were some predictable bodily pains, aches in my stomach and such, but there was also a feeling of focus, of concentration.  Perhaps I was just trying to ignore my own hunger, but I felt very, very focused on my own thoughts.  It was a lot like meditation actually.  It felt, well… spiritual.  Almost religious, like this feeling was important.  Considering I was reading Baha’i books throughout the day I guess this shouldn’t be a surprise, but I was really able to think clearly.  I actually felt good, like I really had a handle on what I was doing.  However, if I can learn anything from last month, it’s that I’ll have the rug pulled out from under me the moment I think I’ve come to understand anything, so I’ll just leave that as it is.  No matter how spiritual I may have felt I pretty much collapsed on my bed after I ate, so maybe I shouldn’t be so quick to praise whatever this was.

I have to say though, finally breaking down and eating something felt a little bit like defeat.  I wanted that feeling to last forever, but I was also STARVING, and as I am discovering hunger can be a powerful motivator.  I really didn’t get the same feeling this evening, I was just hungry, no closer to anything spiritual.    Still, I’m really curious to see if I can attain that same state of mind again.

I wonder how long I could last without any food at all…